- Reacting is often quick and emotional.
- Reflection, on the other hand, gives me time to understand my feelings and the other person’s point of view.
When I do things without waiting to pause, think, and reflect, I often end up making the wrong decisions, and regret them later. However, if I am emotionally strong, I will be able to master my emotions in such a way that instead of reacting, I will be able to reflect on a situation, and reach a logical conclusion. This is called the Mirror Rule, and can help me ace life, with minimum effort.
What is the Mirror Rule?
Yoshinori Noguchi is the author of a great book called “The Mirror Rule”. He has taught me the principles of handling any situation or person with reflection as opposed to quick reactions.
According to Yoshinori Noguchi, the Mirror Rule is simple to practice every day because it just means that when someone says or does something to me, instead of reacting immediately, I will pause and think about it. I humbly “reflect” on the situation like looking into a mirror. Then, I ask myself: Why did this affect me? What is really going on? This pause will surely help me respond calmly and wisely, rather than reacting with anger or hurt.
According to Yoshinori Noguchi, by reflection:
- I can control my emotions instead of letting them control me.
- I can avoid saying or doing things that I might regret.
- I can make better (and wiser) decisions.
- I can build stronger relationships because I will respond kindly and thoughtfully.
How can I practice this rule?
- Pause – When something triggers me, I should take a deep breath, because this action helps to calm my mind and body.
- Ask questions – Instead of jumping to conclusions, I need to ask myself why I feel this way. Is the other person upset? Could there be a misunderstanding?
Look at the bigger picture
- I must think about the whole situation, not just the moment. Will this matter, or be of any importance, to me or the other person, tomorrow or next week?
Choose the response
- I need to decide on how to respond in a way that helps, and this may mean staying silent or talking calmly.
- I should not carry the weight of angry or hurt feelings.
- People will appreciate my calm and thoughtful replies.
- I will surely feel more confident managing my emotions.
- Friends, family, and coworkers will trust me more.
Thank you, Yoshinori Noguchi, for your sagacious words of How to control MYSELF on a daily basis!
Key Takeaway
I pray and hope that God will change me daily, and allow me to slow down in my approach of interacting with people and situations. I have to put the Mirror Rule into practice and learn to reflect before I say or do anything in any situation.